A Good Dose of Stupidity
by Larmyx
Summary: Axel and Vexen are transported to a different dimension due to Axel's utter boredom and idiocy. Will they ever be able to return to the World That Never Was? Or will they forced to live with rabid fangirls and bad dubbing for the rest of their nonlives?
1. The Y A O I Gate

1 It was a day like all others in the Castle that Never Was. (Day? Actually, it's entirely possible that could of been night. One can never tell in the World that Never Was.) It was dark, it was gloomy, and Axel was bored. As much of otaku's dream come true the World that Never Was is, it was really, really dull. I mean, seriously, what's a good city without a couple of bars and some movie theaters?

Anyway, Axel needed someone to annoy. Roxas was out on a mission with Demyx and Saix. Xigbar was...somewhere. Prob'ly the kitchen. Zexion was guarding the kitchen and would soon be seen and heard beating the snot of Xigbar for trespassing into the kitchen without his permission. Eh, that was something Axel DID NOT want to get in the middle of. Xaldin was in the Lounge of Naught and would be an easy target to irritate, but Axel had long ago learned to never push Xaldin's buttons. Number 3 (in Axel's mind) was a doctor's dream case of eternal male PMS. Luxord was also in the lounge and somehow coerced Larxene into playing some poker. Axel cringed at the thought of what Larxene would be prepared to do after a few rounds of losing and Luxord's arrogant smirk. Suddenly, removing himself from the lounge seemed like a brilliant idea.

As he walked down the hallway, Axel brooded some more on who to vex for his own entertainment. Waaaaait. Vex. An interesting word. (One of my vocab words now that we bring up.) This particular word also begins the name of someone in the Organization who is very easily irritated. AND is also very entertaining when in such a state. (Big words, I know. Try get through it. I know you can.)

Yes, I believe we ALL know where this is going, but just to spare some of the slower ones.

Axel decided to pay _Vexen _a visit.( Aha! Some visible sign of the plot! I worried for a second there that I had lost it.)

Vexen growled and glared at a set of blueprints sitting on his worktable. WHY wasn't the damn thing working? He'd gotten everything right and according to his calculations he was doing everything exactly the way he was supposed to.

Vexen sat down on the nearest chair and sighed. He could feel a migraine coming on.

"Heey Vex, my man!"

Well, it turns out he was right. Here was Vexen's migraine right on schedule.

The door to Vexen's lab was jerked open and the redheaded migraine swaggered in.

"What do you want?" Vexen snarled, glaring at the unwelcome intruder.

But Axel wasn't listening. "Woah! What's this?" he asked pointing to the large metal circular structure sitting in the middle of Number Four's lab.

"Oh, that?" Vexen looked up, "That's an Yttrium-powered Abnormal Outer-planetary Interdimensional Gate."

"Oh," Axel said, quickly figuring out the acronym in is head, " You know you could shorten it to–"

"NO! _I know _what it acronyms to. HOWEVER, we are going to call it an Yttrium-powered Abnormal Outer-planetary Interdimensionsal Gate. Okay?"

"Riiiiiiight. So! What's this Gate- thingy do anyway?" Axel asked as he poked the machine's metal surface.

Vexen sighed, "That 'thingy' is _supposed to_ create a synthetic worm hole that would be able to transport you to any of the dimensions parallel to this one. And before you ask," said Vexen, cutting Axel off just as he was about to open his mouth, "no it doesn't work in this dimension."

"That's not what I was about to ask, but okay!"

"What were you going to ask?" asked Vexen.

"What's this doohickey here do?" said Axel, poking a big red button (They're always red, aren't they?)

"What doohick– NO! DON'T TOUCH THAT! THAT'S THE–"

Number Four was too late. Axel had already pushed the stupid thing and the Yttrium-powered Abnormal Outer-planetary Interdimensional Gate glowed a brilliant neon blue as the laboratory faded from view.

"_So that's what it needed to make it work." _Vexen thought,_ "A good dose of stupidity."_


	2. Click That was easy

1

Note: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Vexen or Axel. (I WISH I owned Axel.)

--------------------------------------------------

Xel was bored. I mean, for Pete's sakes, it was spring break! It's practically illegal to be bored on spring break!

She sighed as she stretched out onto the grass face down. Her glasses' nosepiece pushed into her face and made her nose itch.

"Lar?" she called, still face down causing her voice to be kinda muffled.

"Yees?" a singsong voice replied.

"Why in L-sama's name are we out here? In the sun? Where it's warm?" Xellosity whined.

"Because we have to find the Nobody necklace I lost out here! That thing cost, like, TEN bucks!" said Larmyx, "And stop whining," she added as an afterthought, "It's not that warm out."

"Then at least tell me why you're in the back yard. You didn't even go back there."

"_Because _one of those weird cosplayer zombie people things might have shown up and taken it back here!"

Xel sighed and flipped over on to her back. Lar was probably right. For once, one of her crazy ideas actually made sense.

Well, there's a first time for everything.

Suddenly a huge rift of condensed air passed over Xel's house, warping the surroundings.

Xel sat up, grass dangling from her hair and her glasses askew.

"What in the–?"

Then from out of the corner of her eye, Xel glimpsed the corner of a black coat.

She swung around to face the unexpected visitor on her lawn, fully prepared to face yet another fangirl cosplayer zombie similar to the ones that had made themselves so common recently.

But she completely unprepared for what she saw.

A rather dazed looking man with bright red spiky hair and unfocused emerald eyes stood in front of Xel, shaking his head back and forth and trying to snap out of a daze.

Still a little unfocused, the strange man smiled and said...

"Click. That was easy."

Vexen came to, face down a stone patio.

He tried moving. Pain shot up his left arm.

Okay, moving was not a good idea.

What to do...Immobility was definitely a minus. Besides if he couldn't move, Vexen couldn't flip himself over too see where he was.

_Well I'll just have to risk it. _Vexen thought, it's a little-known secret that Vexen is an absolute baby when it comes to pain of any sort.

So as quickly he possibly could, Vexen flipped himself over onto his back, coming face to face with a pair of large hazel eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" screamed our oh-so-brave Chilly Academic.

The hazel eyes that had startled Vexen blinked and the girl attached them whimpered.

"huff huff" Vexen struggled to catch his breath, flushing with embarrassment that he had been frightened by a _girl._

the narrator would like to pause and say that whoever DARES say something insulting about females will get what's coming. Which will most likely be a punch in the face.

Number 4 stared at the girl who had startled. She had short blonde hair and freckles scattered across her cheeks. She looked to be about the age of ---.

the narrator would like to pause again to say that no, she ain't giving out how old she is, you pedofiles!

Another thing about this girl was that she giving Vexen a 1st degree, grade A, kicked puppy dog look. It was professional. If aimed at you, you would immediately feel guilty for things you didn't even do. It was the kind of look a little kid would give you if you had taken away his lollipop, killed his mommy, and ,on top of that, kicked Lassie.

It was the kind of look that nobody, not even a Nobody without a heart and emotions, could withstand without feeling like you would a murderer.

Vexen felt awful. The girl's eyes were shiny and wide. Her lip trembled violently and she sniffled, looking on the verge of tears. On whole, she looked very, very pathetic.

Vexen was just about to cave in and beg forgiveness for whatever he done when the girl dropped the pathetic kicked puppy look and screamed in the direction of the house the two were beside

"XEEL!!!!! There's one of those cosplayer zombies out here. Only THIS one has actually managed NOT to look like a complete fake! And as far as I can tell, this one's a guy!"

"You're kidding!" yelled another female voice from the other side of the house, "There's an Axel one on my side and he looks authentic, too! Wanna trade?"

"HELL YEAH!" the blonde girl screeched, looking ecstatic.

Vexen groaned and leaned on his left arm. All of this yelling was making his head throb.

Waitaminute, he leaned on his _left _arm. Wasn't that the one he hurt?

"OW! F—!" Vexen shouted as the familiar pain shot up his arm again.

The girl, poised to go careening through the house and glomp Axel, spun around to face her captive. Captive? I don't have any other way to put it. Sorry, Vexen fangirls!

"Hey, are you okay?" she looked concerned..and a little irritated that she was being kept from her bishonen.

"Yep! Just peachy. I'm lying on a cement floor, contorted in pain, but I'm just _fine._" Vexen sneered as sarcastically as someone in pain can.

The girl opened her mouth to respond, then closed it and grabbed Vexen's injured arm to pull him up.

"OW! YOU A–HOLE THAT HURTS!" Vexen jerked his arm back.

The girl pouted and pulled even harder.

"STOP THAT, YOU–!"

"I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU, YOU P—K!"

But, after much swearing, animated tug-of-war from both sides, and a WHOLE lot more pain on Vexen's part, the girl finally managed to get Vexen on his feet. She supported (although it was more like _dragged_) Vexen into the house. He flopped onto a comfortable-looking couch, wincing at the pain. His arm, needless to say, was in a much worse condition that it was before.

By now all the noise had attracted attention. A girl with short dark hair and thin round glasses came in through the front door, dragging behind a very familiar idiot.

"What the heck were you DOING, Lar? The entire city could hear you two!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, come on, Xel, we weren't THAT loud." said Larmyx, coming out of the kitchen.

"YES, yes you were! Which brings up another question! WHERE did you learn to swear like that?"

Lar grinned, "You want lessons?"

"NO."

Axel looked up and meekly asked, " Um, sorry to interrupt, but where are we and who are you?"

Both girls stared at Axel like they were surprised he knew he how to talk.

"Um..You're in Florida?" supplied Larmyx.

Axel blinked, then shook his head, "Oh."

At this point, Xel decided to stop this foolishness and stepped in, "Okay. Let's start over. Hello! Welcome to Florida! I'm Xellosity and this," she said, gesturing to Larmyx, "is my friend Larmyx. What are your names?"

"Axel."

Vexen groaned, "Vexen."

Larmyx shook her head, "No, your REAL names. Not the name of the character you guys are cosplaying as."

"Cosplaying?"

"Characters!"

"Yeah," said Xel firmly, nodding her head, "You two are cosplayers right? You're too intelligent to be one of those weird zombie cosplayer fangirls."

"What are you talking about?" Axel demanded, looking confused.

Xel sighed and Lar took a deep breath in and said, "Vexen and Axel are _fictional characters. _They're not real, so you are not them."

Axel looked shocked, but Vexen bit his lip, thinking. (L-sama knows what's going to happen now.)

"Wait!" Vexen shouted,causing everyone to jump., "We got teleported to a different dimension by the Gate! So in this world we must be fictional characters!"

Lar's eyes widened, but Xel merely looked interested, "Explain."

Vexen explained the story so far, as well as the interworkings of the Gate. Axel and Larmyx simaltaneously went, "Huh?" and Xel summarized what Vexen had said into layman's terms.

"Oh."

Xel turned to Vexen, "So you say you're from another dimension, eh?"

"Yes."

"A Kingdom Hearts dimension?"

"If that's what you want to call it, then yes."

Xel's eyes light up with a freakish fangirl-ish gleam, but then Larmyx cut in, "Prove it."

Vexen raised one eyebrow and smirked, "Gladly."

He put his hand to his injured arm and summoned a random block of ice onto his injury.

Both girls' mouths dropped open as they stared, stunned a Vexen's little display of his power. (If _that's_ what you want to call it. The narrator believes it can hardly be called a _power._)

Vexen glared at the narrator through fourth wall and said, "The narrator might want to keep her speckled nose out of my business and continue with the story before she ends up with a block of ice for a face."

(Point taken. I'll continue.)

When Xellosity and Larmyx got over their initial shock, they burst into a fantastic fangirl-ish celebration and proceeded to bombard the two poor Nobodies with a barrage of questions interrupted only by squeals of pure delight.

Axel put up a hand, "Wow. Wait. One. Second. You guys are drowning with questions about us and our world. What about you guys? I mean, how is it that we're fictional characters here?"

Larmyx and Xellosity looked at each other, having calmed down from their fangirl spasms.

"Well..." And they proceeded to explain Kingdom Hearts 1, 2, and Chain of Memories, skipping over Vexen and Axel's death scenes. And then the fandom of Kingdom Hearts.

About an hour later...or maybe it was a day...

"Wow." said Axel, somewhat in shock.

"That was fascinating!" exclaimed Vexen, looking wild-eyed with excitement, "Please explain more, I need notes on this!"

"Wait." said Lar, before Xel could start in on another lengthy explanation, "First we need to educate you about ..yaoi."

Axel went pale. "No thanks, we already know what that means."

"Good. Do you know what kind of a reputation you guys have? I mean some fangirls , other than us, have a morbid fascination with pairing all of the Organization up."

"Oh."

"We must EDUCATE you!" cried Xel, justice-posing on a chair.

"What?! Hey!" shouted both Axel and Vexen, as they were pulled out of their seats and into the computer room.

Larmyx Fun Notes!:

Sorry, it took so long to update!

I'd like to say it was because I had important stuff to do and that I was really caught up with school work and soccer, but..

Roxas: You're as lazy as hell.

Yeah. Um... Glad you could make it, Roxy!

Roxas. And you made me come, on pain of death or giving me a wedgie in front of Namine.

Hmm...I don't seem to recall threatening you like that.

Well you did. Why'd Ieven have to come anyway? I'm not even in the story.

Because! It wouldn't NEARLY as funny, if I dragged Vexen or Axel in to talk to our readers. And besides I like torturing you, Roxanne.

Roxas!

Okay! Time to wrap things up. I promise to update more often and...that's it! There are many chapters to come, I assure you.


End file.
